Christmas Jokes

Christmas is the time of making some jubilation and enjoying the beats of life on the carols of Santa Claus. So add some rhymes of joy and laughter in the day with funny Christmas jokes and woo the 'snow man' with your welcoming style. Check out the treasure trove of funniest Christmas stories, interesting questions, which will surely make you enjoy and limericks. So are you ready for the endless laugh and fun!

Funny Christmas Stories
Funny Christmas Questions-Answers

Funny Christmas Stories
  1. On the last Christmas, the old man found it difficult to go out for shopping so he decided to send cheques to relatives and friends instead of sending presents. In every card he wrote ' Please purchase gift of your choice' and mailed it. After the festival he realized that he had received only few Christmas cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his room, intending to write a couple of his relatives to ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift cheques which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.
  2. The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied young lady sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, 'A millionaire son-in-law.'
  3. It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But John, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. John went to his room and wrote ' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied. So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. 'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'
  4. Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the lift (elevator) of the hotel. As the lift traveled from the 5th floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed a Rs.500 note lying on the lift's floor. Which one picked up the Rs.500 note, and handed it in at reception? Santa of course, the other two don't actually exist!
Funny Christmas Questions-Answers

Q.(1) How do you know Santa has to be a man?
Ans. No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.

Q.(2) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
Ans. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q.(3) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Ans. Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Q.(4) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Ans. Platform shoes !

Q.(5) What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
Ans. I'm going out tonight !

Q.(6) What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Ans. Your teeth !

Q.(7) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
Ans. It's Christmas, Eve !

Q.(8) What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
Ans. The letter "D" !

Q.(9) Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?
Ans. Because the poor didn't have any !

Q.(10) What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ans. Ice caps!

Q.(11) How can a snowman lose weight?
Ans. He waits until it gets warmer!

Q.(12) What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ans. Snowflakes.

Q.(13) What goes red white red white red white?
Ans. Father Christmas rolling down a hill!

Q.(14) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Ans. Santapplause!

Q.(15) What is Father Christmas' wife called ?
Ans. Mary Christmas!

Q.(16) What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move?
Ans. Santa Pause!

Q.(17) How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
Ans. Only one - after then it is not empty any more.

Q.(18) What king is the children's favorite at Christmas time?
Ans. A stocking!

Q.(19) What kind of bird can write?
Ans. A pen-guin!

Q.(20) Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Ans. So he can ho-ho-ho.

Christmas Fun





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